Introduction

I think there is a certain arrogance required in posting a public blog. A blog is the tangible manifestation of the belief that your thoughts and your ability to express them are so interesting that you need to share them with the world, and then, expect the world to sit up and read them. I don't imagine this is any different than any other author's desire in the history of the written word, but now, anyone with a connection to the internet and something to say can publish it. Housewives, soldiers, twenty-somethings and godless liberals can all meet at the same metaphysical table in this grand "series of tubes," and throw their words at an unwitting public. 

I want in. 

Except...The problem I encounter is that in order to have a blog worth reading, you need to have some sort of topic to revolve around, a subject readers might actually read. To make matters more complicated, to have a blog worth writing -a problem dearer to me than the first- this topic must actually inspire some passion in the author. It was always at this stumbling block that my aspirations to become a blogger withered. 

For the sake of introductions, my name is A.J. I am a college graduate, still -barely- in my first quarter century.  I have a job I enjoy, though it is not my intended career, a long term relationship, and the nebulous beginnings of a plan for the future. I used to think that I would leave college equipped with all the social, academic, and financial skills I would need to transform immediately into an adult. Instead, I left with a degree, a pile of debt, and a lot more questions than answers. 

Lots of bloggers write about their daily lives, and I knew that was not going to be an option.  I keep a personal journal for that kind of mundane detail, and believe me, it IS mundane. I live in quiet, relatively rural New England and I work with a group of surprisingly normal professionals. The healthcare setting that I function in certainly has its quirks, but I don't think I could fill up a whole blog with my impressions of them. My social life is also stable, staid, and bound to be dull to the outsider. 

If not my professional or personal relationships, I thought, what about my hobbies? Hobby bloggers cover every topic from travel to knitting, and beyond. I have hobbies! I enjoy working on so many things all at once: writing, reading, sketching, photography, foraging, science, cooking, hiking, camping, fitness and the list goes on and on and on. My closets are littered with half-finished projects, and maybe it's better to say that I try to have hobbies.

And then, like a bolt of lightening - or perhaps just a very hard whack between the shoulder blades, it hit me. Trying is the story of my life right now. I'm trying to be a professional, trying to cook, trying to be more fit, trying fiscal responsibility, trying to practice good citizenship... trying to find a modest niche for myself in the world that I am content to occupy.

You might notice the discrepancy between my web address and my title. On one hand, I am trying to project the image of a mature adult, one capable of smoothly navigating the waters of life. And on the other, I'm still the girl, nearly too old for such a epithet, scared and wondering where the hell I misplaced my instruction manual on life. 

I hope you'll come watch me through my false starts, failures, delays, crises, and hopefully, successes. 

love,

aj